Maybe We’ll Get Really Lucky and He’ll Actually Read This…

Nov 28, 2K08

To: The White House

Attn: Barack Obama

Re: NCAA Football Playoffs

Dear Mr Obama,

You probably could have gotten more votes if you has stated that you were in favor of a Playoff System earlier in your recent campaign, but in the end I guess it didn't really matter, did it? LOLZ.

I am the founder and for the moment, sole member, of PFFFFTT, People For Fair Football Team Treatment. You likely have noticed that there is an unaccounted for extra “F” in the acronym; with all respect for your new position, I am refraining from using words in this proposal that some may find objectionable. Not you, of course, I know you’re no pussy, but you just never know about some people…

PFFFFTT is currently a non-profit organization dedicated to straightening out the maddening mess that is College Football in the Third Millennium. I will soon be joined by a variety of die hard sports fans from various Internet Forums, blogs, and Fantasy Sports sites, all of whom will lend expertise to this issue. We will also attempt to convince the NFL, and any other leagues which need reform, of the error of their playoff ways, as well as provide some hopefully humorous and somewhat entertaining views on a variety of other subjects. Our initial goal, however, will be to help you get a College Football Playoff System in place ASAP, as we realize you have a few other pressing issues and may be a tad busy. We will work tirelessly around the clock except for when there is football on TV, or an interesting live blog to check out.

Let’s get to the task at hand:

We’re talking BCS today, the Bowl Championship Series, for NCAA FBS (Football Bowl Subdivision), formerly known as Division 1-A. Why the Powers That Be felt the need to rename the division that is comprised of the 120 BIG Boys of College Football is way beyond me, but I do note with some glee that both titles contain the letters “BS”.

Let’s look at The System:

There are 5 BCS Bowls, the Fed-X Orange Bowl, the AllState Sugar Bowl, the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl, and the Granddaddy of Them All, The Rose Bowl, presented by Citi. This one should probably be renamed the Bailout Bowl, or at least find a new sponsor… The fifth bowl, as we know it today, is the Fed-X BCS National Championship Game. The Top Two teams in the final BCS Standings play in this baby for all the marbles. This truly is the only game that matters from a prestige standpoint, unless you happen to be one of those Nader-Perot nut jobs that like to walk around chanting “We’re Number Three!” Interestingly, the payout for each of these 5 games is the same - $17.5 million smackers, paid to the schools and conferences. It seems ironic to me that the team that performs the worst in these 5 games gets the same financial benefit as the team that is the mostly undisputed Best in All the Land.

So much for salary commensurate with achievement, but we’ll let that slide lest we get sidetracked and into the whole “the players are the game and most of them have no future in professional football and are getting totally screwed” issue.

Back on track, let’s look at the selection criteria for the BCS Bowls, with some particular attention to how we’re looking this season:

The champions of the Atlantic Coast, Big East, Big Ten, Big 12, Pac-10 and Southeastern conferences get automatic bids, which, of course, have 17.5 million reasons to be accepted. There are 4 at large bids, to smaller schools who meet certain criteria, or large schools who are deemed worthy of inclusion. These teams are determined by a combination of subjective polls and scientific computer rankings. Sounds great, right?

It isn’t.

To wit:

ACC – #21 Boston College (8-3) likely goes to the ACC Championship Game and a shot at the Orange Bowl with a win over Maryland. #20 Florida State (8-3) can advance with a BC loss and a win over Florida – yeah, right… #22 Georgia Tech (8-3) will be the other ACCCG participant with a win over #11 Georgia or a loss by unranked Virginia Tech, who gets in with a win against 5-6 Virginia and a GT loss. My eyes just literally crossed and rolled back in their sockets. In any event, none of these teams is a legitimate Top Ten contender, but one of them is going to hit the lottery. Big East - #16 Cincinnati (9-2) is the other Orange Bowl contestant if they beat 3-8 Syracuse at home this weekend. Woo Hoo!

Current #17 Oregon State (8-3), goes to the Rose Bowl to play Penn State if they beat Oregon (8-3) this week. The soon to be 11-1 Southern Cal Trojans could be relegated to a minor bowl due to an earlier limp performance against these very same Beavers. That’s pretty unlikely, but still, my first grade teacher pretty much instilled that 11-1 > 9-3. I could go on for pages, but will refrain and leave something for commenters to hash out.

In short, The System is broke, Sir and needs immediate fixing. PFFFFTT stands ready to help.

The Solution:

It’s pretty obvious that the Playoff System needs to be 8 teams.

These 8 teams need to be the 1-8 ranked teams in the land.

The subjective polls need to be discontinued – I mean, who pays attention to stupid polls, anyway?

The scientific computer rankings, which are comprised of many components heavily weighted toward record and strength of schedule, need to be the Be All End All.

The four Big Bowls need to lose all conference affiliations, and become quarterfinal and semifinal sites, rotated each year.

Speaking of conferences, they actually need to go away too. Do the schools need to belong to a sub-organization of the NCAA whose main purpose in life is to suck cash away its members?

I think not. We need common sense to win against The Bureaucracy for once.

The schedule needs to be determined by the NCAA, not the schools. No more scheduling patsies for Homecoming Weekend, Michigan. That Troy State game worked out pretty well, didn’t it?

There will be 12 games each for all 120 teams, no more, no less, and none after Thanksgiving weekend.

Traditional rivalries can and must be continued (we have a pretty good understanding of what they are) and geographic proximity will be taken into heavy consideration when making the schedule. This can be done, I mean, we’ve mapped the human genome, right? It shouldn’t be much harder to set the NCAA football schedule.

When all is said and done, the Top 8 teams will advance to the playoffs. #9 can take a consolation prize of “Go Cry, Emo Kid” hooded sweatshirts if they choose, or they can just move along to their lower but still semi-outrageous payday with some modicum of dignity.

The quarter and semi finals will be held on the second and third Saturdays of December, with the Orange, Sugar and Fiesta Bowls being permanent rotating fixtures.

Last, but certainly not least, The Rose Bowl will ALWAYS host the National Championship Game, and will ALWAYS be held on Jan 1! It’s time to go back to having a game on New Year’s Day that actually means something, not just jockeying for the whole Nader-Perot Award.

The Fed-X National Championship Game will be defunct, and Fed-X has nothing to wail

about as they still have the Orange Bowl sponsorship. Maybe they can even lower their prices a bit as they won’t be throwing wild jack at TWO friggin’ football games…

Here’s what we’d be looking at in the proverbial “if the season ended today” scenario. We both know it doesn’t, but hey, humor me for illustration purposes, OK?

In this fictional and semi-unreadable bracket (click image to enlarge), the 4 quarterfinal games would be #1 Alabama (11-0) vs #8 Penn State (11-1) , #2 Texas (10-1) vs #7 Texas Tech (10-1), #3 Oklahoma (10-1) vs #6 Utah (12-0) and #4 Florida (10-1) vs # 5 USC (10-1).

Pretty tasty, no?

I’d actually feel pretty bad for #9 Boise State and #15 Ball Sate, who have both put together great seasons (11-0), and are the only undefeated teams besides #1 Bama and #6 Utah. They are unfortunately members of lowly regarded weak sister conferences, and have mediocre strength of schedule ratings. They would be better off having played a few top 20 teams in that respect, although of course, they may not have come through unscathed. Just one more argument for busting up the conferences and making an attempt at level scheduling – no undefeated team left behind!

”So what’s in this for PFFFFTT?” you may ask, and rightly so.

Well, I’d REALLY like a cool title, Secretary of NCAA Football Playoffs sounds quite appealing.

Just one other small thing, I’d like the last and most important game of the whole season to be named “The PFFFFTT National Championship Game”, with my hopefully soon to be for profit organization having 100% control of naming rights. Should the NCAA or various corporations prefer that their showcase event is called something else, PFFFFTT may choose to independently negotiate the sale of naming rights with any of those entities. Well, except for Citi, because they suck.

Time is of the essence in this matter, Sir.

I realize we can’t implement anything this season, as by the time you take office the season will already be over and the Gators will likely be polishing yet another trophy. The 2009 season is very much within our sights, however. We realize there will be toes stepped on, with bitching and whining and much gnashing of teeth to ensue. Well, Sir, you’re the President of the United States of Gat Damn America, and if anybody gets too difficult you can just send them to Guantanamo for a little respite from their travails.

You can do that, right? LOL

Please send your approval and perhaps a small contribution ASAP so we can push this toward completion in the most timely of manners. We stand ready to begin work immediately.

~Respect

NFSFFW for PFFFFTT

/waits expectantly

//checks mail

///taps foot