Maybe We’ll Get Really Lucky and He’ll Actually Read This Part Deux…

Jan 24, 2K09

To: The White House

Attn: President Barack Obama

Re: NCAA Football Playoffs

Dear Mr Obama,

Haven't heard back from you, and do appreciate your busy schedule. Once again I write to offer my services in helping you install the NCAA Football Championship Playoffs, change our country desperately needs. While Florida is a very worthy Champion this year, there are three teams that really should have had a chance to play for Numero Uno, but didn't. Rather than belabor the past, let's adopt a platform of hope, and fix the hosed up mess that is college football today.

Previously, I suggested that we get rid of all the conferences, but I've rethought that stance. There is simply too much money involved to do that, and neither of us need to fight that battle. However, the conferences do need trimming and consolidation, and details follow in the text of this communique. Here's an executive summary, and then we'll get into the details:

• There are 120 teams in the NCAA FBS, formerly known as Division 1-A.
  
• There are currently eleven conferences spread across the country in various sizes and shapes. There are also four Independent teams, and they shall get with The Program and be independent no more.
• Realignment reduces the total conferences to TEN, consisting of TWELVE teams each.
• Each team will play a total of THIRTEEN regular season games, no more and no less, beginning roughly the first weekend of September and ending on Thanksgiving weekend.

• Each team will play every other team in their conference ONCE, leaving TWO games open for traditional rivalry games, for example, USC-Notre Dame. Rivalry games such as Oklahoma - Nebraska should be continued, even if the two teams now reside in different conferences.

Realignment of the conferences is detailed below, alphabetically:

Sayonara Boston College, hello to South Florida and to Geographic Correctness.

These guys have gotten away with calling themselves the Big Ten for too long, as there have been eleven members since JoPa State joined the fold a few years back. The existing teams stay intact and Notre Dame finds a home, like it or not.

BC comes home, Temple and Buffalo also save on gas. WooHoo for Green improvements!

The original Big 12 gets revamped and becomes the BIGGER 12, as, well everything's bigger in Texas. Supposedly. In any event, this could pretty much be called the Lone Star Conference but for the inclusion of two teams from the O.K. state. Looks like a Texan got self important with the hiliter here, apologies.

Damn Texans.

There's a Big East, so why not a Big West? This pretty much combines the former WAC and MAC, and adds the Armed Forces. This was a bit tricky, as travel logistics for Army and Navy aren't good, being East Coast teams. I suggest you give each team a 747 and make it easy on them, as they deserve a break.

The Heartland is a brand new conference consisting of the former Big 12 teams displaced by teams from Texas, with some old MAC and WAC members and the odd team from Arkansas thrown in for good measure.

The MidAmerican stays fairly well intact, less Temple and Buffalo and with Middle Tenn State added. Tennessee is an awfully long word, might we get that changed simply to Tenn?

The Pac 10 becomes the PAC 12, by adding newcomers Hawaii and San Diego State.

Conference USA loses all affiliation with the State of Texas and brings aboard five newcomers. Ola, compadres! Wait, you say you don't habla the Espanol? Cool!

Can we interest you in some nice Confederate flags?

Last, certainly not least, and most definitely not alphabetical orderly correct, meet your new SEC. Same as the old SEC. The SEC doesn't really like change, and well, I'm all right with that. These teams and their respective states pretty much scare me as badly as they do the rest of the country.

And that, Sir, is that. I should note here that this is not rocket surgery, and that it took less time to make this spreadsheet during the season premiere of 24 than it did to format this damn blog page. All that's left for us here is to lay out the Playoff System, and we'll hopefully be home in time for lunch. And a nap. Here ya go:

• There will be TWELVE Playoff teams, consisting of the winners of each of the above conferences and TWO Wild Cards.
• The computer portion of the current BCS System, while likely in need of a bit of tweaking, will serve as the basis for determining the Wild Card teams.
• In case of a tie in a conference, the first tiebreaker will be based on head to head competition. BCS computer rankings will break any remaining ties, and there will be a series of other "TBD" steps in the unlikely event two teams remained deadlocked after being run through HAL 2000.
• Seeds ONE through TWELVE will also be determined by the BCS computer.
• Seeds ONE through FOUR will have a bye in Week One, and the remaining EIGHT teams will comprise the First Round, with FIVE playing TWELVE, SIX playing ELEVEN, and so forth, at the higher seeded team's home field.
• Week One will be the first weekend of December.
• Week Two will be the next weekend, and will trim the field to FOUR teams. The same seed driven matchups will be employed, and the higher seeds, ONE through FOUR, will once again play on their home fields.
• Semi Final Week Three will be the following Saturday, and the games will be a rotation of the Sugar, Orange, and Fiesta Bowls. Each of these bowls will host the remaining highest seed one year, the remaining second high seed the next year, and will not be a part of the Playoff in the third. New Orleans, Miami and Phoenix can either duke it out over who takes a seat in the first year the Playoffs take effect, or we could just draw straws.
• The National Championship Game will be played each and every year at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California, on January by God FIRST. Let's make a New Year's Day game meaningful again. Enough said.

Well that's a wrap for this session, Sir. I'm sure there's a pile of things to be ironed out, but they are all doable. I still stand ready to rock. Holla back soon so we can discuss salary and perks of my impending Secretary of NCAA Football Playoffs appointment.

Anxiously,

NFSFFW for PFFFFTT